@berwald-oxenstierna

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Somewhat reluctantly, Berwald lay back, resting his head against Matias’s shoulder.  He was almost irritated at how comfortable this was, and how much he didn’t want to get up.. 

“Hej, M’tias,” he murmured, shifting somewhat closer to the Dane, “‘f I fall ‘sleep, make sure ya wake m’ up.”

“Alright,” Matias said, though he had no intentions of doing so. He was hoping Berwald would fall asleep, before he collapsed in the middle of everything he was doing. Besides, Berwald wouldn’t get mad at him - right now in his condition, the Swede would probably let him get away with murder.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sleep with how much his head hurt, but he could probably doze a little.

Berwald cracked his eyes open and fumbled for Matias’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze once he managed to locate it. 

It probably wouldn’t be long now until two more were with them, meaning that moments like this would be few and far between.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Somewhat reluctantly, Berwald lay back, resting his head against Matias’s shoulder.  He was almost irritated at how comfortable this was, and how much he didn’t want to get up.. 

“Hej, M’tias,” he murmured, shifting somewhat closer to the Dane, “‘f I fall ‘sleep, make sure ya wake m’ up.”

“Alright,” Matias said, though he had no intentions of doing so. He was hoping Berwald would fall asleep, before he collapsed in the middle of everything he was doing. Besides, Berwald wouldn’t get mad at him - right now in his condition, the Swede would probably let him get away with murder.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sleep with how much his head hurt, but he could probably doze a little.

Berwald cracked his eyes open and fumbled for Matias’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze once he managed to locate it. 

It probably wouldn’t be long now until two more were with them, meaning that moments like this would be few and far between.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald gently moved away from Matias and climbed to his feet, turning to face the other. “‘ll b’ back then. Ya need ‘nyth’n’ else?”

He wondered if bringing pain killers would also be a good idea, but wasn’t sure if he should.

“Nej, just the water,” Matias said after a few seconds. He could live with a migraine for a little while. He gave Berwald a smile and pulled himself back up onto the bed all the way, sitting back against the headboard.

Berwald nodded and exited the room, quickly retrieving a glass and filling it with water. While he was relieved that their argument had ended quickly, he was still worried.

Well, why wouldn’t he be? He was always worried these days.

He shrugged his shoulders and headed back into the bedroom, silently closing the door behind him, then wordlessly handed the glass to Matias.

“Tak,” Matias said quietly and took the water. He sipped it slowly, knowing better than to try and drink it quickly even if he was really thirsty. His migraine was quickly getting worse and worse; probably because he’d cut out coffee entirely, and he’d been eating less and less.

He stretched out his legs in front of him, finding that keeping them curled was getting uncomfortable. Looking up at Berwald, he gestured for him to come over next to him; he’d made it his goal, at least for today, to at least try to keep the Swede off his feet as much as he could.

Berwald paused for a moment, then, deciding that resisting simply wasn’t worth it, sat down on the edge of the bed.

Really, at this point, he would love for nothing more than to lay down and sleep, something his conscience seemed intent on preventing him from doing. He would close his eyes, and then he would think about everything that needed to be done, about how little attention he’d been paying Peter as of late, about how he hadn’t been doing enough for Matias and their daughters…

It was exhausting.

Matias sighed and shifted a little. “Come lie down,” he said. “Ya need it.” He hoped that was enough to convince him - he really didn’t want to have to keep talking. He took a few more sips of water and set the half-empty glass down on the bedside table.

He just wanted Berwald to take a proper break; they still had plenty of time, anyway.

Somewhat reluctantly, Berwald lay back, resting his head against Matias’s shoulder.  He was almost irritated at how comfortable this was, and how much he didn’t want to get up.. 

“Hej, M’tias,” he murmured, shifting somewhat closer to the Dane, “‘f I fall ‘sleep, make sure ya wake m’ up.”

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald gently moved away from Matias and climbed to his feet, turning to face the other. “‘ll b’ back then. Ya need ‘nyth’n’ else?”

He wondered if bringing pain killers would also be a good idea, but wasn’t sure if he should.

“Nej, just the water,” Matias said after a few seconds. He could live with a migraine for a little while. He gave Berwald a smile and pulled himself back up onto the bed all the way, sitting back against the headboard.

Berwald nodded and exited the room, quickly retrieving a glass and filling it with water. While he was relieved that their argument had ended quickly, he was still worried.

Well, why wouldn’t he be? He was always worried these days.

He shrugged his shoulders and headed back into the bedroom, silently closing the door behind him, then wordlessly handed the glass to Matias.

“Tak,” Matias said quietly and took the water. He sipped it slowly, knowing better than to try and drink it quickly even if he was really thirsty. His migraine was quickly getting worse and worse; probably because he’d cut out coffee entirely, and he’d been eating less and less.

He stretched out his legs in front of him, finding that keeping them curled was getting uncomfortable. Looking up at Berwald, he gestured for him to come over next to him; he’d made it his goal, at least for today, to at least try to keep the Swede off his feet as much as he could.

Berwald paused for a moment, then, deciding that resisting simply wasn’t worth it, sat down on the edge of the bed.

Really, at this point, he would love for nothing more than to lay down and sleep, something his conscience seemed intent on preventing him from doing. He would close his eyes, and then he would think about everything that needed to be done, about how little attention he’d been paying Peter as of late, about how he hadn’t been doing enough for Matias and their daughters…

It was exhausting.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald gently moved away from Matias and climbed to his feet, turning to face the other. “‘ll b’ back then. Ya need ‘nyth’n’ else?”

He wondered if bringing pain killers would also be a good idea, but wasn’t sure if he should.

“Nej, just the water,” Matias said after a few seconds. He could live with a migraine for a little while. He gave Berwald a smile and pulled himself back up onto the bed all the way, sitting back against the headboard.

Berwald nodded and exited the room, quickly retrieving a glass and filling it with water. While he was relieved that their argument had ended quickly, he was still worried.

Well, why wouldn’t he be? He was always worried these days.

He shrugged his shoulders and headed back into the bedroom, silently closing the door behind him, then wordlessly handed the glass to Matias.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald shrugged and wrapping his arm around Matias’s shoulder, leaning to rest his head against the Dane’s. “Le’s no’ d’ this ‘gain,” Berwald suggested quietly, shifting closer to the other.

He smiled a little. “Agreed. I don’t like fightin’ with ya,” Matias mumbled. Noises were starting to become painful.

Berwald opened his eyes and straightened somewhat, frowning at Matias. “Ya okay?” He asked quietly, frown deepening.

He hadn’t upset him anymore, had he?

Matias sighed. He wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t wanted Berwald to know, but he hadn’t. But if he was going to make Berwald promise to be more honest, he would have to be, too. “S’just ‘nother migraine,” he said.

Berwald shifted slightly, still frowning at Matias. Perhaps this had something to do with their argument, he thought with a slight pang of guilt.

“Ya need m’ ta get ya ‘nyth’n’? Wat’r ‘r someth’n’?

He nodded, though he immediately regretted the movement. “Water’d be nice.” He considered asking for some pain medication as well, but he didn’t want to take anything he didn’t absolutely have to.

Berwald gently moved away from Matias and climbed to his feet, turning to face the other. “‘ll b’ back then. Ya need ‘nyth’n’ else?”

He wondered if bringing pain killers would also be a good idea, but wasn’t sure if he should.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald shrugged and wrapping his arm around Matias’s shoulder, leaning to rest his head against the Dane’s. “Le’s no’ d’ this ‘gain,” Berwald suggested quietly, shifting closer to the other.

He smiled a little. “Agreed. I don’t like fightin’ with ya,” Matias mumbled. Noises were starting to become painful.

Berwald opened his eyes and straightened somewhat, frowning at Matias. “Ya okay?” He asked quietly, frown deepening.

He hadn’t upset him anymore, had he?

Matias sighed. He wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t wanted Berwald to know, but he hadn’t. But if he was going to make Berwald promise to be more honest, he would have to be, too. “S’just ‘nother migraine,” he said.

Berwald shifted slightly, still frowning at Matias. Perhaps this had something to do with their argument, he thought with a slight pang of guilt.

“Ya need m’ ta get ya ‘nyth’n’? Wat’r ‘r someth’n’?

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald shrugged and wrapping his arm around Matias’s shoulder, leaning to rest his head against the Dane’s. “Le’s no’ d’ this ‘gain,” Berwald suggested quietly, shifting closer to the other.

He smiled a little. “Agreed. I don’t like fightin’ with ya,” Matias mumbled. Noises were starting to become painful.

Berwald opened his eyes and straightened somewhat, frowning at Matias. “Ya okay?” He asked quietly, frown deepening.

He hadn’t upset him anymore, had he?

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald let out a slow sigh and shook his head.

Of course.

Even with all of his careful planning, with watching what he said and how he said things, of course this would still happen. Of course he would manage to upset Matias somehow.

Be frank with him and upset him, or watch what he said and still upset him. He couldn’t win.

“‘m try’n’ not ta complain ‘cause I don’t wanna ‘pset ya,” he mumbled almost inaudibly. “I hate see’n’ ya ‘pset ‘nd I hate be’n’ the cause ‘f ‘t.”

“‘m sorry fer this.” His shoulders slumped forward somewhat and he reached up to remove his glasses, glaring down at them.

“Maybe ya need to reconsider what’s upsettin’ to me,” he snapped. “There is literally nothin’ ya could say that’d upset me more than ya tiptoein’ ‘round like this. It’s - how d’ya not see it fer what it is?” He covered his face with his hands, not sure if it was the light or the emotions that were worsening the pain. “S’like it was a year ‘nd a half ago. When I told ya ‘bout the nightmares. D’ya not remember that? Me walkin’ on glass ‘round ya, too scared to say much of anythin’ ‘cause I was terrified of upsettin’ ya? Remember how that turned out? In case ya fergot I’ll give ya a hint, it involved nearly losin’ everythin’ we had.”

“Tha’s diff’ren’,” Berwald heard himself respond and immediately regretted it. No, it wasn’t different.

It was just Berwald not thinking through like he should have, not realizing that this could backfire, that this wasn’t fair.

“Nej, yer righ’.”

Matias uncovered his face and looked over at Berwald. “I love ya Berwald,” he said, looking down again. “‘Nd I know what ya’ve been tryin’ to do, ‘nd I appreciate it, but s’not right. S’not supposed to be like this.” He started wringing his hands.

“‘ts not.” Slowly, he reached for one of Matias’s hands and brought it to his lips, pausing for a moment to inhale the Dane’s scent. “Love ya t’. ‘m sorry ‘bout this.”

He mentally kicked himself again for having upset Matias like this.

Matias scooted closer to Berwald and laid his head back on his shoulder. “M’sorry too. I shoulda said somethin’ sooner instead of lettin’ it sit until it broke like this.” He closed his eyes, the pain going far past the point he could ignore. But he didn’t want to ask Berwald to go get him pills just yet.

Berwald shrugged and wrapping his arm around Matias’s shoulder, leaning to rest his head against the Dane’s. “Le’s no’ d’ this ‘gain,” Berwald suggested quietly, shifting closer to the other.

@berwald-oxenstierna

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

matias-densen:

berwald-oxenstierna:

Berwald let out a slow sigh and shook his head.

Of course.

Even with all of his careful planning, with watching what he said and how he said things, of course this would still happen. Of course he would manage to upset Matias somehow.

Be frank with him and upset him, or watch what he said and still upset him. He couldn’t win.

“‘m try’n’ not ta complain ‘cause I don’t wanna ‘pset ya,” he mumbled almost inaudibly. “I hate see’n’ ya ‘pset ‘nd I hate be’n’ the cause ‘f ‘t.”

“‘m sorry fer this.” His shoulders slumped forward somewhat and he reached up to remove his glasses, glaring down at them.

“Maybe ya need to reconsider what’s upsettin’ to me,” he snapped. “There is literally nothin’ ya could say that’d upset me more than ya tiptoein’ ‘round like this. It’s - how d’ya not see it fer what it is?” He covered his face with his hands, not sure if it was the light or the emotions that were worsening the pain. “S’like it was a year ‘nd a half ago. When I told ya ‘bout the nightmares. D’ya not remember that? Me walkin’ on glass ‘round ya, too scared to say much of anythin’ ‘cause I was terrified of upsettin’ ya? Remember how that turned out? In case ya fergot I’ll give ya a hint, it involved nearly losin’ everythin’ we had.”

“Tha’s diff’ren’,” Berwald heard himself respond and immediately regretted it. No, it wasn’t different.

It was just Berwald not thinking through like he should have, not realizing that this could backfire, that this wasn’t fair.

“Nej, yer righ’.”

Matias uncovered his face and looked over at Berwald. “I love ya Berwald,” he said, looking down again. “‘Nd I know what ya’ve been tryin’ to do, ‘nd I appreciate it, but s’not right. S’not supposed to be like this.” He started wringing his hands.

“‘ts not.” Slowly, he reached for one of Matias’s hands and brought it to his lips, pausing for a moment to inhale the Dane’s scent. “Love ya t’. ‘m sorry ‘bout this.”

He mentally kicked himself again for having upset Matias like this.